December 08, 2011

Doctor, Doctor..give me the news...

I've been fortunate to have gone through life without many visits to the doctor's. I went for my school shots in kindergarten.  And then again in what 8th and 11th grade? So that's three.

Other than that, in the 8th grade I broke my arm doing back hand springs in the backyard. During that office visit (which wasn't until the next day...a story for another day), I was sitting in the waiting room when two guys ran in. One of the men was holding his arm, completely covered in blood. The nurses rushed him into a room. About 30 minutes later he came back out of the room. His jacket on. One arm in a sleeve and the other.....GONE! And as I hugged my writhing arm, I looked over at my mom stone faced and asked, "Did they cut off his arm?!". My mom just laughed at me, because it was just in a brace under the jacket. Needless to say, I didn't know how Doctor's operate. I just assumed my arm and his arm and probably my mom's arm were all going to be amputated.

Next visit, right after high school, I went to the emergency room for what we now know were stress ulcers. Again, me and my mom sat in the emergency room and waited as they hooked me up to an IV. This time, there was a fish tank in the room. I looked at it and said, "I wish I were that fish. He has it better than me right now." Again my mom, laughed.

I hate doctor's visits.

Since my twenties, I've tried to go in for more regular physicals and such. But every time I go to the doctor's I am uncomfortable and anxious. I would jump at the chance to go to the dentist over the doctor.

So this week, I went in to meet with my Utah doctor for the first time since being back. It's important to note that this meeting was to discuss my anxiety medication that I got on while in Mass and make sure that my dosage was right, etc, etc. The meeting went fairly well, my waiting room experience wasn't horrific and I didn't have to get in one of those yucky gowns.

It was the end of the visit, my doctor was wrapping it up with printing out a new prescription. As she did so, she looked at the computer, tilted her head and said in a concerned tone, "humph". Never words you want your doctor to say. What now.

Doc: "Do you have kids?"
Me: "No."
Doc: "How old are you again?"
Me: "27."
Doc: "When do you plan to have kids?"
Me: "Never."

She then went on to discuss with me the importance of taking a hard look at whether I want kids or not and to act fast on that. I expressed to her my backing on why I don't want kids and that I know if you are over 30 it is harder to conceive, blah, blah, blah... She was more concerned that the child has more likelihood of congenital birth defects, etc, etc. 

Anxiety rising.

I think I'll take that higher dosage now that I've thought about it again.

(I was in there for anxiety...she knew that right?)

I then asked her, "Do you have kids?"
Doc: "One and I wish I didn't"

Huh? So let me get this. You are trying to convince me to have kids, but you don't even want your own? Wow! You've convinced me now.

By the end of the conversation she had tried to convince me to have kids, but by the end she just said, "Well, think about having a tubal ligation. If you really don't want kids, then I'd like to get you off birth control pills and onto something more permanent to reduce all the hormone control."

I left that office in a complete state of anxiety.

Well, that didn't do me any good.

So basically, I hate Utah, just as much as I hate kids and doctors. My doc in Mass wouldn't have even thought twice about a 27 year old not having kids. Why is it that people in Utah try to move through their lives so fast?  

After a sleepness night that night, I took my anxiety meds the next morning and thought, Eff her! I am 27 and enjoying my life full of freedom. I plan to keep it that way for a long time, if not forever. I am not going to make any permanent changes that I may regret until I feel prepared. But wow, what a visit. It's a good thing I like find the humor in things. Because I've been laughing about it with coworkers, family, friends ever since.  Just wanted to make sure not to leave you out.

Anyway, status.... No, I am not having kids. And no, I don't plan to anytime soon. Even with Doctor's orders.

I like the car on the right best. It's something to shoot for.
(I actually saw this decal on a car the other day.  It made me smile.)
*Note: I really like my doctor. And I appreciate a doctor who is on the look out for their patients. I feel that she was going above and beyond. I need someone to keep me in the know, because I can definitely be uninformed and I like that she wanted me to know the reality of risk and my options. Next time though, maybe do it during a physical, not during the anxiety meeting. (However, in retrospect, it's actually pretty funny).

**Note: I got my flu shot and I think KC touches me in that spot of my arm like a thousand times a day. 

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