Lose Yourself

[Eminem]

I can't help but think about how last year at this time I was training for the marathon. I wouldn't just be training, I would almost be in my taper. I'd have 6 mi, 26 mi, 7 mi, and then the marathon. We'd be less than a month away.

And now...

I am 1 month away from my 1st triathlon. 

Each week over the last 6 months I've put in hours of swimming, biking, and running. Though it's physical, it's mostly time spent in my head. It's 1 of the 2 reasons that I am drawn to endurance sports. It's time I process, deal, fix, vent, reminisce, and fantasize about life.

Today was an especially emotional ride, in both my head and body. I've been repeating a course multiple times to fill up the training time requirements since I am still a weak hill rider. But, I decided to get courageous today and take Javier out of our normal route; extending out into new territory.

I mapped out a popular biking course. Not taking into account that I would be hitting the same pavement my beaten legs took nearly 1 year ago. This time a different method of covering the distance, but seeing it all as vividly as I did that day.

...the same street that Krick and I ran during our 15-17th miles in the race.
...the street that I teared up with amazement at our journey. For which, Krick told me to knock it off. We still had 9 miles to go. Stop that!
...the street that, despite the remaining steps needing to be taken, I realized we actually were going to make it.
...the only street that we had to ourselves.
...at the end of this street I saw my brother and mom waiting at the corner to join us for the next 9 miles. ...and as we departed this street we were met with cheering from family members, who boost our spirits enough to grind through the incline of the next 4 miles.

I've driven that street a few times since the race, but being out in the fresh air, taking in the view closer, and having time to relive the memories as I passed each landmark made my heart fill with pride.

Pain is temporary. Pride is forever.

It was our motto all through training. And it is so true.

You'll never hear me stop talking about it.

Get used to it.

I am proud, and will forever be, of that accomplishment.

And for this triathlete in training it's something I need. Confidence. There is nothing in my life that has given me that more than the marathon. I am so incredibly glad I took that risk and challenged myself. And I hope I always continue to do just that.