Undone

[No Doubt]

It's not a good sign when I am 9 days out from my "A" race and I am sitting on the couch eating [homemade] cookies and milk....

Not. Good. AT. ALL!

Why do we allow ourselves to get in these situations? Setting goals, not giving them our all...

I had big plans this year.

1. Qualify for Boston. Strike ONE [Since BQ has to be in by September and I am not running any marathons in the next 2 months.]

2. Finish 30 Credit Hours in school. Strike TWO, since I had to drop out of my summer classes. (For a couple reasons).

3. Place in my division at Spudman...

Ya... Spudman... that "A" race I was talking about.

Last year I competed in Spudman, an Olympic Triathlon. I worked from February to July to get ready. I WAS ready. AND I did well for my 1st triathlon. I placed 11th in the swim and 9th on the run. Or something like that.

This year, I had this vision....

maintain my swimming and running + decrease my cycling time = place in my division

 It wasn't going to be that hard... REALLY, it wasn't. And how things were going with my running, in preparation to BQ, I had decreased my 10k time by a almost 10 minutes -- buffering my cycling time. I was so ready for this.

But today.. I am not feeling ready.

I want to blame this all on my quad injury from the Salt Lake Marathon. But for the past month, since Ragnar, I haven't had quad issues... so it's not really an excuse. [I did have a glimpse of IT band issues and ankle problems... but nothing I couldn't work with].

My next excuse is work. It's wiped me out. I am trying to save my job. Fulfill extreme expectations. Still, I've trained through difficult work issues before. I've done stressful environments. Not a good excuse.

But ya... one excuse or another, I am here. Having only taken my bike off my trainer and to the great outdoors ONCE this year [and bike computer not working]. Not having swum for over a week. And my pace has slowed to 8:48/mile.

But, I am determined to not have a DNS or DNF on my athletic record.

My brother asked what a running record is. Well, it's mental -- that's for certain. But it's also physical. Here.

Nonetheless... this is my self pep talk... I can do this.

I won't place. Fine. There is always next year.

But, that doesn't mean I give up.

I won't. I am going to compete.

I refuse to do less than that. Because I know I can go and give it my best. The best of what I've got to give NOW.

And I'll not give up on my goals. I'll just realize, this is not the year for them. Life has other plans for me this year.

But, I just purchased this book today and I'll be getting up bright and early to swim out 1600m tomorrow morning. And I'll move forward. Trying. One day at a time.

...AND hey! I am still "purchased sweets" free [I haven't had a piece of candy for 6 months and 18 days!] and I still fit into that jean size I was working towards... so not a complete failure this year... right?! I just can't let that work go down the drain... Plus, I have to have some WINS. Life can't just complete go to shit. Anyway....

What advice do you have for cramming for a race? Is it possible? How do you bounce back from struggle to meet your goals?